I am in the process of forming a boy band, three members are sought with the following qualifications.
Minimum age 70 and must be able to stand on the stage for a minimum of four minutes unsupported and try to remember the lyrics.
Incontinence, will I'm afraid be a barrier, but is open for disscusion.
Dance routines will be kept to a minium, but I do need a good choreographer.
A world tour is planned so the succesful applicants must be able to endure, excesses of drugs ( not statins), groupies and still being awake at ten thirty pm.
Interested parties may audition at the TI on Friday night.
If anyone can come up for a suitable name for the band please. There is already, a Gerry and The Hat Tricks.
Have you given up that job working at the chip shop, Elvis?
I was caught with my fingers in the fish fryer, she was sacked as well.
Start your search in the co-op on the Strand
Thanks to all who turned up for auditions last night. Alas though, I don't think on balance I am able to continue.
My sympathy goes out to the family of the gentleman who collapsed and died , one third of the way through, "Bat Out Of Hell". It was regretable that no one was prepared to offer mouth to mouth though.
Apologies to the Landlady as well , I had no knowledge that the gentleman had a commode with him and had used it, until a short time afterwards.
The incident wth the dribble on the microphone was also regretable, but I understand that the gent involved only sustained second degree burns and should recover in time.
Sorry as well to the gang of young girls in the corner, who received a Savileing from three elderly gentlemen during the course of the evening.
Back to the drawing board.