General Discussion
First ever Olympic champion ......
Talking of Greek cuisine ........
Did you know the very first recorded Olympic champion was a Chef/baker called Coroebus, who hailed from the town of Elis
So which event are you doing this year then Chef ??????????????????
Preferably not naked please Chef
That got me thinking. How come a humble Greek baker managed to win the Olympic race against all those naked, honed greek athletes? And why wasn't the event recorded in the annals? So I have an idea of how he won and this is how Homer might have written it as an epic poem ..... By the way Greek and Roman poets were often a bit bawdy so anyone who might blush easily should not read on - have tried to tone it down from the ancient greek translation but who knows.
Coroebus of Elis
Coroebus of Elis,
By the twelve gods he swore,
To win the first Olympics,
He couldn’t wish for more.
“O mighty Zeus, like Hercules,
Grant me my wish today,
Give me my place in history,
I’ll do whate’er you say”.
The sky turned black, the thunder clapped,
As Zeus let out a roar,
“I’ll grant your wish, Coroebus,
But I’ll be back for more”.
Coroebus’ heart was filled with joy,
He vowed “I’ll not forget,
In honour of my debt to you,
I offer my baguette”.
With buns and baguette dangling,
He broached the Elysian field.
The stadion of Olympus
Was where his fate was sealed.
From Corinth, Thebes and Argos,
From Illyria’s distant shores
Greece’s finest athletes
Had rallied to the cause.
Their sinews taut in ardour,
Bronzed torsos gleamed with oil.
They laid their lives upon the line,
To test the mortal coil.
And when they saw the baker,
They scorned with disrespect,
Until their eyes discerned the size
Of Coroebus’s baguette.
Remember all those statues
Of ancient Grecian men.
Two petit-fours and a sausage roll
Was all you’d see on them.
They quaked and quailed and quivered,
And bowed with new respect.
They’d seen his secret weapon,
The weight of his baguette.
Two hammas width of bodies
Lined up across the field,
Coroebus there among them,
His naked pride revealed.
And then like Nubian lions,
They bolted from the start,
And left Coroebus in their wake
With anguish in his heart.
But as he reached his rhythm,
His pendulum unleashed
The impetus within him
From that mighty beast.
Each forward swing propelled him
He overtook the field
Leaving athletes in his wake
Ashen-faced and full of ache
Mortified and no mistake,
Beaten by the one who baked,
The one who would not yield.
His prize that day an olive branch,
No finer accolade,
For Coroebus the baker,
And the history he had made.
EPILOGUE
There remained a debt of honour
To Zeus the god of gods
Who now stood there before him
Much against the odds.
Said Zeus, “I think you owe me
For the wish I granted you
And now I claim your big baguette
To dally all night through”.
Coroebus had to quickly think -
Being not that way inclined.
He said to Zeus quite cagily
“That wasn’t in my mind.
I’ve heard that Aphrodite
Is keen on leavened bread
So let her sample my delights
All through the night instead".
Said Zeus “You’ve spoken wisely
I grant your wish again
And history will know you
As the first Olympian”.