General Discussion
Bullying at Dawlish C. College - a positive outcome
I have just sent the letter below to the Dawlish Gazette but as I'm not sure whether or not it will get published I'm posting it here as well. I think we would all agree that it is regrettable that anyone, anywhere, should be the victim of bullying. I think we might also all agree that more than likely bullying is still to be found in most, if not all, schools across the land and I’m as sure as eggs is eggs that other parents and ex students can be found for those many other schools who are also non too happy with the experience they or their children have endured at the hands of bullies. In other words, bullying issues are not exclusive to Dawlish Community College although one might presently be forgiven for thinking otherwise. I need to be clear here. I do not in anyway condone bullying. Having been a victim of bullying when I was at secondary school (many years ago and not in Dawlish) I know only too well what it is like to be on the receiving end of it. I welcome any procedures to help eradicate it and yes a zero tolerance approach would be great although I am not at all sure how that could be enforced given that school staff cannot be everywhere all the time. As a parent of a student at Dawlish Community College and bearing in mind my own secondary school experience it follows that your newspaper coverage of bullying at the school is more than of passing interest to me. However, as there are at least two sides to every story and as confidentiality prevents Dawlish Community College’s side from being heard none of us can really make a fully informed comment on those cases which your paper has brought to our attention. Therefore in the interests of fairness and a more balanced approach to this issue I wish to draw your readers’ attention my positive experience of how Dawlish Community College deals with bullies. There is a degree of irony here as it did go through my mind at the time of the incident outlined below to write a letter to the Gazette in praise of the college’s actions. I didn’t write the letter then but do so now for obvious reasons. Earlier this year I received a phone call from one of the teachers telling me that my daughter had been involved in an upsetting incident earlier that morning due to one of the male students subjecting her to derogatory and sexist name calling. The phone call was not only to tell me about the incident but to also let me know that the bully would be dealt with and that my daughter, although very upset at the time, was now okay and was being supported and comforted by her friends and teaching staff. I played dumb when my daughter returned from school but in a very calm and collected manner she voluntarily told me all about it and when I asked her if she was happy about the action the school had taken she said “Yes”. And so am I.
I also was a victim of bullying whilst at secondary school, also not Dawlish. What I find interesting is how, over the years, what was considered 'picking on' someone (ie low level bullying generally involving teasing and horseplay) which is a daily part of school life and never of much note when I was at school, - has now evolved into being described as full on bullying. Not wishing to downplay or underestimate the affect that bullying has on the victims (remember I was one), my experiences caused and helped me to develop a strategy to cope with anything similar in the future. Now I will not be a victim. All schools have bullies, bullies will always find a target, workplaces have bullies, families have bullies. This isn't something that will ever go away and generally the victims parents aren't happy with the schools response - mine weren't. As usual not much else to report in the Gazette.............
I wouldn't disagree with much of what you've written there Hells Bells. I would be interested to know though what others think of the Gazette's reporting on this whole thing so far. Could it be described as Objective? Considered? Restrained? Hectoring? Sensationalist? Balanced? Slanted? That list isn't exhaustive but I would be interested to know what others think.
I removed my child from DCC last year because of the constant bullying,both on the way to and from the school,and a couple of incidents within it. Im not saying the school wouldnt do anything about it,they just seemed to be unable to prevent it.Determined and ruthless bullies are able to soak up any sanctions handed out to them,and its this that is the problem,even excluding them doesnt seem to deter them.We knew who the culprits were,they knew who the culprits were,but it just went on and on and on. we applied to move my child from the school and both the education department and DCC agreed this would be a good idea as grades were slipping and the will to even leave the house was suffering. On the first day of term i took my child to the new school and was suprised to meet other kids, and their parents who were starting there having been removed from DCC for the same reasons. It was laughable to note,that two weeks after my child started at the new school,we got a call from DCC asking why they werent in school,hows that for keeping a close eye on the situation,we also had a few instances of my childs tormentors waiting at the train station for them getting of the train at tea time,and it was my childs new school that stamped that one right out. My child is much happier and enjoying going to school(as much as teenagers do anyway) I think to say there will always be bullies is a rather simplistic way of looking at it,todays bullies are tommorrows muggers,rapists and murderers if they are simply accepted as a fact of life and not dealt with. Some kids become wiser and more able to stand up for themselves in later life thats true,and well done to them,but some buckle under the torment,and others as we have seen in national papers,take the ultimate way out when they can see no end to the misery.Some kids try to be brave and face it up only to find that they just cant cope,or that the assurances given to them havent come to fruition,and its for these kids that bullies need to be stopped,or at least the effects of what they do neutrlised. I think DCC could go a long way to sorting the bad rap they are getting by admitting they have a problem and promising to take tough action,because from what i saw in my dealings with them,they seem unable(im not saying they are unwilling) to deal with it
Sorry to hear of the experiences of your child and very pleased s/he is happier now. And yes I know there can be very tragic outcomes because of bullying. Can you explain something please. You write: "we had a few instances of my child's tormentors waiting at the train station .....it was my child's new school that stamped that one right out". Good. But can you share with us how they did it?. As I've often wondered how schools can control (as in police) the behaviour of their own students when not actually at school, I'm intrigued to know how your child's new school was able to control the behaviour of students from DCC.
Hi lynne what happened was,we got a call from the school saying they had reports of pupils from DCC tormenting my child on dawlish train station on arrival of the train. This had been reported by other pupils as it was apparently not pleasant to watch. The school was very concerned and stated they wouldnt tolerate any interference of its pupuls travelling to or from school,be it by members of the public or pupils from other schools. I dont know what conversations took place between the two schools,but credit where credit is due,DCC helped identify these individuals,and it turns out,they shouldnt have even been at the station,they were supposed to be on a coach laid on to take them home to wherever As i understand it,the arrival of the train was monitored to see what was going on,i even went down myself to meet the train a few times but kept a decreet distance. needless to say,it stopped. This actually comes out out as a plus for DCC who acted on the information they received in co-operation with another school. Although schools are not generally responsible for the actions of their pupils once the bell goes,the image of the school can be tarnished by the actions of some as they make their way home. That said,where public transport is laid on to get them safely home,they are responsible for ensuring the pupils board the bus unless there is a valid reason for them not to get on it,i.e parental request to go elsewhere. I dont suppose DCC were well chuffed with having another school informing them of the actions of their pupils,but like i said,credit to DCC on this occasion for acting on the information,and these individuals must have had a shock to be rounded up so quickly.
So...it wasn't just your child's new school that stopped it. DCC was also involved. Thank you for letting us know.