General Discussion

I'm distraught to report that some miscreant has blasted the head off my beloved Rhode Island Red rooster with what appears to be a blunderbuss.

I fear that it was because Roddie tends to crow all night and that this might have disturbed the neighbourhood. But he was only doing what comes naturally to him.

If anyone has any information on this heinous crime, please let me know or please call Crimestoppers.

Penny to a pound it was a druggie that was the culprit.

I intend to take what remains of Roddie to the taxidermist (One4 Taxidermists) in the hope that his memory might live on in a glass case on my mantlepiece.

It must be a difficult time for you. This may help:

link

Yeah bend over Roy, its sticking out your a*rse

Roddie's up my arse? How dare you!

I've put that unfortunate incident behind me - it's in the past, I was lonely and vulnerable and it only happened the once. Though, between you and me, it was finger-licking good.

I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that Roddie has now got pride of place on the mantlepiece in his lovely display case.

Unfortunately his head was completely beyond repair, however the taxidermist has done a grand job and managed to attach a spare poultry head that they just happened to have round the back of the shop.

Now whilst the turkey (I believe his name was Terry) only bears a passing resemblence to Roddie, I'm content knowing that his spirit will lives on forever.

If anyone has any information about the miscreant with the blunderbuss, please phone Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

PATHETIC

Pathetic!!? You've obviously never been a victim of the Dawlish Cock Shooter, have you? How can you be so heartless about my headless rooster?

I tell you what though, my grief is really starting to get to me...

I dozed off this afternoon in front of Paul O'Grady. I could have sworn that I was awoken by the sound of gobbling.

But it must have just been a bad dream that involved Roddie and Terry.

R.I.P. Roddie.

Even MORE Pathetic

How heartless can DrugsUser4549 be?! You know how to kick a broken man when he's down don't you, you miscreant you.

I'm off to the pet shop this lunch time - the one I favour is called "Fish & Chirps" - to see if I can get a replacement for Roddie. I'll let you all know how I get on.

Though seeing as DrugsUser4549 has no interest in my feathered friends, I assume he/she/it won't read this thread so won't know how I get on. Which is a shame.

No doubt he/she/it'll be too busy polishing his/her/their blunderbuss anyway.

DRUGS USER? You pathetic mindeless idiot, give me your name and I guarantee I will sue for libel, but I guess you wont have the guts for that, but I live in hope

I'm surprised to see that drugsuser4549 still reads this thread, even though he/she/it constantly belittles the thread by calling it pathetic.

How can drugsuser4549 sue me for libel when he/she/it hasn't used his/her/its real name????????? Unless his/her/its father was called Jonathan 4549 and his/her/its mother had a sense of humour.

Anyway, I won't allow myself to be diverted by this miscreant, so I'll get back to the point.

I popped into Fish & Chirps yesterday and got myself a replacement for Roddie. Obviously he's irreplaceable as far as my heart is concerned, but I think that Goldie will go some way towards filling the void in my life.

I never thought that a koi carp could bring so much joy. I'm off now to take Goldie for a walk.

Regards,
Rev. Roy W. Anker.
269 Sandy Lane,
Dawlish,
Devon
EX7 0AF

Am I the only one who actually finds this thread amusing? Looks like Roy has hidden talents as a comic. ;-)

I agree with you and in the general spirit of it all:

Here's an option for Roy:

crowing rooster link

and for those who would like to dispose of a crowing rooster:

disposal link

I see that name name it correct
" Rev. Roy W. Anker.