Dawlish News

How come every mother and baby picture from the Madonna and Christ-child onwards shows a serenely happy mother cradling a perfectly contented baby in her arms? For most mothers reality is quite different: driven to distraction and despair by a baby that cries long and loud for no discernible reason. So why do babies cry, and what can you do when your baby is howling inconsolably?
Firstly, take comfort from the fact that it isn't only you that finds it difficult to know why a baby cries. Experts the world over have been trying for many years to work out why babies cry, and, in particular, why some babies cry persistently while others seem easily pacified. There seems to be no simple answer, but a number of factors may influence how much of the day, and night, a baby spends crying, and how much of a problem his parents perceive this to be.

Temperament
Babies have different temperaments and, to some degree, it's the luck of the draw whether you have a baby who fusses and frets, is irritable and easily upset, or one who is easy-going, placid and content.

A mother's mood and feelings may also affect how much her baby cries. Mothers who feel low, depressed, anxious, exhausted or angry, who have relationship problems with their partner, or who feel strongly rejected by their baby's crying are more likely to have a baby who cries excessively. This isn't to say that the mother's feelings CAUSED her baby to become a frequent crier, but they may be a factor in perpetuating the baby's crying.

A father's feelings may also have an effect - one recent study in Sweden found that fathers who described their child's birth as upsetting or distressing in some way were more likely to have a baby who cried excessively in the first few months of life.

Signals
Crying is the way that babies signal that they need something. When you're trying to find out why your baby is crying, consider the following possibilities, which can be tried in any order.


Hunger
Many babies don't feel hunger at regular intervals, so there may be days when the baby wants food frequently and other days when he wants it less often. A baby who hasn't had enough to eat will usually cry at the end of a feed as well as before the next one, but if you're not sure whether your baby is hungry, offer a feed and see what happens. If he takes a little milk then refuses more, hunger is unlikely to be the main cause for his crying.


Sucking
Sucking is comforting to babies, so there may be times when he doesn't want the bottle or a full breast, but he does want to suck. If you think this might be the case, offer him a dummy or let him suck on the breast he most recently fed from.


Needing to be held
If a baby is crying because he wants to be held, picking him up and cuddling him will quickly stop the tears. Carrying or gently rocking the baby is probably better than vigorously joggling him up and down, as this may prevent him from drifting off to sleep. Don't worry that you'll 'spoil' your baby by picking him up whenever he demands to be held - you won't. A backpack or a front-carrying sling may be useful, and some babies like to be snugly wrapped in a blanket while being held.


Boredom
A baby won't sleep if he isn't tired, and in this situation he may well cry from boredom. Try playing with him or sitting him in a baby seat in a room where there's a lot going on (for example, the kitchen while you're cooking). A new mobile above the cot, or a new ring or rattle to touch and hold, may help.


Tiredness
Too much excitement and stimulation can sometimes overtire a baby, making him irritable and unable to sleep. Try putting the baby down in a quiet, darkened room and leave him for a few minutes, even if he's crying, to see if he will settle and go off to sleep.


Thirst
Babies may cry because of thirst, even when they're not hungry, especially in hot weather or a very warm room. Try offering a little cool, boiled water in a bottle or from a spoon.


Wet or dirty nappies
These bother some babies more than others, but even if your baby doesn't seem upset by them it's worth changing the nappy as soon as you realise it's wet or dirty. This helps to prevent nappy rash (which would almost certainly cause your baby discomfort).


Too hot or cold
Babies can feel uncomfortably hot or cold, just as older children and adults do. If your baby is sweating or his tummy feels hot to the touch, remove some of his clothing or, if he is in his cot, take off some of the bedding. Remove hats and extra clothing as soon as you come indoors or enter a warm car, bus or train. The room that a baby sleeps in should be neither too hot nor too cold - 18°C (65°F) is usually about right. Babies should never sleep with a hot water bottle or electric blanket, next to a radiator, heater or fire, or in direct sunshine. By preventing your baby from overheating, you will reduce the risk of cot death as well making him more comfortable.


Colic
Colic is simply a term that describes excessive crying in babies. It frequently begins around two weeks of age and gets better by the time a baby is four-months old, although it may last longer. Crying often reaches a peak in the late afternoon and evening hours. Numerous theories have been put forward to try and explain what causes colic, including one that suggests it is due to muscular spasms affecting the gut, resulting in cramp-like pains after a baby has fed. However, there is little evidence to favour any one theory over another, so it is difficult to say what treatment is likely to work best for colic. Gripe water, colic drops and preparations such as Infacol are often used, but scientific studies haven't proven that they are effective. Several forms of massage have been suggested for babies with colic and it's possible that these kind of repetitive movements (or any others, such as 'cycling' a baby's legs) may have a calming effect. Some people believe that applying gentle pressure to a baby's tummy can ease colic; you can try this by lying your baby face down over your knees or shoulder. A small percentage of babies with colic may be allergic to cow's milk, protein and eliminating from their diet may help. For breastfeeding mothers, cutting out cow's milk protein for a week or two may be worth a try, but if a baby is bottlefed, you could talk to your GP about alternatives to the standard infant formula milks, some of which are available on prescription.


Illness
Finally, you need to be sure that your baby isn't crying because he's ill. If he is, there will probably be other give-away signs: a temperature, runny nose, vomiting or diarrhoea, drowsiness, a rash or not being interested in feeds, for example. If you think your baby may be ill, contact your doctor or health visitor for advice.


If you're still finding it difficult to cope

Running though this checklist may help you to soothe your baby when he's crying, but some babies, despite their parents' best efforts, will continue to cry for long periods of the day or night, leaving parents anxious, exhausted and demoralised.

If you're finding it difficult to cope with your baby's crying, do ask your partner, family and friends for help. Your health visitor or GP may be able to give you useful advice, so do get in touch with them.

Cry-sis is a support group for anyone finding it hard to cope with a crying baby; their helpline number is 08451 228 669 and their website can be found at http://www.cry-sis.org.uk